I can’t let them do this to me! I need to teach them!” In that instant, I’m transported from my wise, calm, and better self…. And it only takes seconds. It’s that powerful.

Perhaps instead of talking about privacy and secrecy, what we should be talking about is intimacy. Intimacy is about letting someone see you in your entirety, about trusting them to accept you fully and without judgment.

With practice, you can eliminate some of those conflicts; and you can also learn to argue better, in the sense of respecting each other and having better outcomes.