Empowering Yourself with Anger
In Brazil we have an old saying: “I’d give a cow to not get into a fight, but I’d give my whole cattle farm to not leave that fight!”
The delightful red rush of righteous anger is akin to hearing sirens. When I’m angry, I feel as though a spell has been cast over me, one that tints everything I see in red. I can sometimes feel something I can only describe as red pressure building behind my eyes “They’re out to get me! It’s not fair, how dare they? I can’t let them do this to me! I need to teach them!” In that instant, I’m transported from my wise, calm, and better self…. And it only takes seconds. It’s that powerful.
It makes me feel like a pig in a pigsty, and I just love that dirt!
In fact, one of the reasons this “anger spell” is so strong is that it makes me feel powerful. I become the Incredible Hulk, ready to teach them a lesson with my righteous powerful wrath. The volcano inside me is exploding: my skin is boiling, my hands are shaking, my heartbeat is throbbing in my ears, my head is hot, and my eyes are dark. I feel I can kill people with my gaze. Actually, a few people are already dropping dead with the death rays from my squinting eyes.
Or… this is my wish, and part of the power of the spell I'm in. I have superpowers, and my super memory can remember every moment when people did me wrong, even 10, 20 years ago, even from when I was bullied as a child.
I want to have the anger power, but do you know what? I’m tired of the anger hangover that invariably follows. Revenge is the poison I drink, hoping my enemy will drop dead. While I’m drinking the poison, I feel powerful and I don’t see that I’m a victim of my own spell, and a prisoner of the lonely fate I’m creating. I don’t see that my anger comes from being powerless, desperate, and hurt. I’m a victim of what life—or people—have done to me. I’m in prison willingly, but not happily. I think my anger protects me from getting hurt, but the only one getting hurt… is me.
I want to have the power without the imprisonment. I want the power of Athena, the goddess of wisdom and war. The power of not letting people manipulate me with their limitations and their own dark anger spells. The power of seeing things in life as challenges and not hindrances. The power of being who I am and not being limited by what others dictate. I don't want to be stuck being a victim of life anymore!
Sartre was right when he said that “freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.” There’s a lot of power in stepping back from a situation that makes you red-hot angry and slipping into the angry empowerment of wisdom. Anger can jumpstart wisdom, if we listen to it. Anger gives you power to break free from the slavery of unconscious acts and reactions. It’s a sign to look inside and answer, “What is imprisoning me now? and How do I break free?
