If You Knew When You Were Going to Die
What if you knew the date you were going to die?
It might seem obvious, but it’s a great deal easier to plan ahead and make decisions if you already knew the date of your death!
If we knew the date of our deaths, there would be any number of things we’d be able to avoid: regrets, surprises, even missing the date itself. We could send out invitations for our time to go, and say good-bye. We could have “getting away forever” parties.
It’s an attractive thought, isn’t it?
The only problem I can see is this: the moment I know something is over, I immediately start missing it, and because of that, I have a tendency to attach myself to it all the more. I don’t want to let it go. And when I start resisting death, I end up resisting life. The ensuing tunnel vision doesn’t allow me to see my present or my surroundings.
If I just focus on the end, my end, then I lose perspective. I start doing the stupid shit I don’t normally do—taking risks, eating whatever I want, partying, drinking, using drugs … I’m going to die anyway, so why not have sex with as many people as I want? I want to do everything I can to avoid life.
When I make a decision to change my life, I decide my time of death. Part of me needs to die in order for something else to be born. It is frightening and it brings with it a lot of resistance. The resistance is the part of me saying: We have been living like this and we like it. It’s comfortable. We don’t like changes. This is who I am. If I change, then who am I?
The bigger the change, the bigger the resistance to change.
Don’t be mad at the resistance. Embrace it and treat it with respect and understanding. The more you fight your resistance, the more ammunition you give it, and the more it fights back. Resistance is part of the process of change. Being stuck is part of the process. We just have to stay with it. Giving up mean all our efforts were for nothing, that all our efforts were in vain. It’s like swimming across the Atlantic Ocean and getting tired in the middle of the trajectory and turning around.
The only way out is through. The only way to get out of our resistance and that truly uncomfortable feeling is consistency rather than pressure. As you do the work it will build up the momentum when change build up inside, and, like a baby after nine months, it will be delivered! The contractions come and new life begins.
